The Angel Chronicles
by the one a.m. writer
Summary: The Supernatural universe Creation Myths, complete with all of our favorite angels! Follow God through mini-stories about raising angels and creating creatures. (Requests to write up a myth for your favorite animal or creature are accepted)
1. Oddball

Teeny stories about the angels! Here you go

* * *

"Dad."

"Not now, daddy's working..."

"Dad."

"Gabriel, go play with Lucifer."

"Daaaad! Dad! Dad!"

"GABRIEL!"

"Daddy, look, dad, dad, look..."

God sighed heavily and turned away from the orchid prototype. " _What,_ Gabri- What in my name is that?"

"It's a platypus, dad, I made it! Look how cute it is..."

* * *

 **It's beautiful, Gabe.**


	2. Again, Gabriel?

_Part two..._

* * *

"Hey Dad. Remember my platypus?"

"I do, Gabriel. I had a hard time placing it-"

"Dad, look!"

"What. Is. That."

"It's an echidna, dad!"

"Gabriel, you need to stop. I have guidelines for a reason."

* * *

 **Echidnas: Like platypuses, they are mammals that lay eggs. Gabriel has a hard time with rules.**


	3. Third Time's the Charm

_part three..._

* * *

"Hi Gabe!"

"Hello, Samandriel... you wanna see the new animal I'm gonna give Daddy?"

"Yeah!"

"Ta-daaa!" Gabriel brandished a... a...

Samandriel's screech of disgust brought Michael and God running. Michael took Samandriel in his arms to comfort him while God examined the newest creature.

"Son... what is that?"

"I present to you the blobfish!"

"I'm going to revoke your creating rights."

* * *

 **If you haven't seen a blobfish, look it up.**

 **The other possibility for Gabe's newest creation was the star-nosed mole.**


	4. Bees

_Castiel's Bees_

* * *

"This is the bee that collects honey. This is the bee that collects wood. This is the murder bee. This bee is really angry. This is the fat black bee. This is the fat yellow bee. This is the skinny bee-"

"Castiel, that's not quite a bee. You made it different, look..."

"This is the skinny wasp, this is the yellow jacket, this is the friendly bee, this bee only likes orchids-"

"shUT UP!" Lucifer screeched from where he was hard at work on a sequoia.

* * *

 **Fun fact: there are more than 20,000 kinds of bees.**

 **Lucifer's going for gold. A Sequoia holds the world record for tallest tree.**


	5. Bets by Balthazar

_Balthazar..._

* * *

Michael was slightly concerned by the sound of loud cheering. He was even more concerned when he realized two of the voices were Gabriel... and Balthazar.

Even worse: Samandriel was with them, hanging half off a cloud with Balthazar, looking down, while Gabriel reclined nearby.

"What are you doing?!" Michael thundered, seizing Samandriel's belt so he wouldn't fall.

"Nothin'," Gabriel said innocently, making clouds fill in the space beneath his two little brothers. "Wanna bet on antelopes?"

"What?"

"We're betting on species. Balthazar made one, I helped Samandriel make one, and they're battling it out. Survival of the fittest!"

"Gabriel," Michael warned, "That's a sacred process, not a game! You should know better! For dad's sake, you're an archangel!"

"Have _you_ been this effective at keeping the fledglings entertained?" Gabriel asked cheekily. "Thought not. 'Sides, it was Balthazar's idea. I'm just watching."

"Hey!" Balthazar screeched, and darted away with Michael on his heels instead.

* * *

 **Gabe ended up taking more of the blame. Sorry, buddy.**


	6. Make Sense of Sentences

_If I have a moment, I can write another Angel Chronicle... although they should probably be called the Supernatural Creation Myths._

* * *

"DAD!"

"What is it, Naomi?"

"Balthazar's lions are scaring Ezekiel's armadillos, and Gabriel spilled lemonade on your Rhus integrifolia and now the fledglings won't stop licking the berries because they taste like lemonade... Dad, Samandriel fell off a cloud again, too! But Michael sent some eagles."

"Why do these words make sense to me?" God complained. "Why can't you behave like normal species?"

"Just wait 'till they're older, Dad, they'll get into all sorts of trouble..."

* * *

 **Rhus integrifolia. Also known as lemonade berry. I wouldn't advise _licking_ the berries, but they do smell like lemonade. **


	7. Samandriel

_I don't know why I keep writing these. Anyone have an animal they want me to do a creation "myth" for?_

* * *

"Hey, Dad." Baby Samandriel tugged on God's sleeve.

"What's up, Samandriel?"

"How come everyone else gets to make a an-mal? I wanna make a an-mal!"

"All right. Come here, sit on my lap, you can help me with this one..."

"What's that, Daddy?"

"It's an elephant, Samandriel... no! Stop pulling it! Samandriel! Stop it!"

With difficulty, God pulled his basically-toddler off the elephant and gazed at it sadly. The nose and ears were stretched beyond repair. Samandriel looked up hopefully, not knowing that what he did was wrong...

"Hey, Dad, whatcha working on?" Gabriel asked, sauntering into the room. He caught sight of the mess on the worktable.

"It's an elephant. Samandriel helped," God said apologetically.

"Oh, dude! That's the best! Check out those ears! My friend Ganesha would love it! Can I borrow the prototype to show him?"

God nodded, baffled, as Samandriel toddled after Gabriel, beaming.

* * *

 **Ganesha- the Indian elephant god. (Look, it has plot!)**


	8. All Things Great and Small

_As I drown myself in music and writing to avoid the election..._

* * *

Lucifer surveyed the forest with pride.

The massive trees, he'd made. The wide, leafy ferns, he'd supervised. Brilliant flowers carpeted the floor. Sunlight filtered through to a merry stream of water trickling over smooth, grey rocks. Butterflies flitted about, bunnies hopped, the picture of a pristine slice of creation.

Lucifer looked over to a little Castiel and a littler Ambriel. Castiel knelt next to Ambriel, who was laying on her stomach. They were both peering intently at one crevice in one rock.

"You're missing what we made together!" Lucifer said impatiently, watching three multicolored butterflies swoop low over Castiel's head.

"Lucifer..." Castiel said. "Come look!"

Lucifer walked over the carpet of five different kinds of wildflower and moss.

Castiel raised a finger to his lips to shush Lucifer, then tilted up the rock- underneath, a mound of beetles fell over themselves in the dirt.

"Beetles?" Lucifer asked, trying to keep the scorn out of his voice.

"Look how _amazing_ they are!" Ambriel's tiny voice piped up. "Aren't they cool, Lucifer? Look!" She held one up for inspection, leaping up to try to get closer to her oldest brother's height. She shoved the beetle in his face. "Look at its legs, and its tiny eyes! Look at its antennae! And little tiny pincers! And it's got a little shell, and if it opens it up, it can fly, Lucifer!"

It was amazing- his sister's whole world had become that beetle, but hers was just as complex.

* * *

 **Note from your author: If you pick up random lessons from Bio class and put them in creation myths, they sound really profound. Levels of complexity, anyone?**


	9. It Gets Interesting Now

_On suggestion from NorthernShinigami_

* * *

"Look at them run."

"Humans?"

"No, Castiel, the turtles. Yes, the humans."

"To be clear, Balthazar, you're referring to the humans?"

"You're impossible. Yes, I am referring to the humans. Look how thin they are! No claws, no shells, no fangs. You know what- fangs would really make them better."

"They have _souls_ , Balthazar, and that is the important thing. They have a brilliant mind. That is what makes them special."

"But- I mean, think about it- humans. But with fangs. That would be the funniest thing."

"Balthazar, please refrain from doing whatever it is you are intending to do..."

"Too late, my dear Castiel- Look at this!"

"What is that?"

"I call it... a vampire!"

"The humans are certainly running now- they're running from the vampire."

"It's got _fangs_ , Castiel. _Fangs._ "

" _Balthazar!"_

* * *

 **Turtles are _fast..._ You don't believe me, but if you have ever been in charge of a box turtle, you will know they can be little speed demons when they want to. **


	10. Playing Favorites

_Birds birds birds birds... or, Playing Favorites_

* * *

God walked into a room to face an audience of angels watching him expectantly.

"What?" he snapped, more surprised than annoyed. He hadn't forgotten any events or meetings... he thought...

The noise hit him a second later, and with it, the motion and colors- birds were everywhere, chirping, tweeting, honking, fluttering, darting around or tucked into cages made of lithe angel fingers. Each bird appeared to have been claimed by an angel. Anna was holding a cardinal, Castiel was holding a raven, even Metatron, obediently trailing after God with a pen and paper, was keeping an eye on a speckled grey button quail.

It was easy to see the connection between the bird and its angelic counterpart- the wings, of course. Ezekiel's bluebird had the same sky blue wings as Ezekiel himself. Same went for Hannah's light pink budgie, Samandriel's orange and brown cliff flycatcher, Uriel's white-speckled-black snowy owl, and Balthazar's yellow-black-white finch. Even Raphael was there, holding a red-winged blackbird (whose wings were, in fact, black AND red).

 _Gabriel_ walked in- this matter was starting to become very not trivial; two out of the four archangels were there, although it was the two youngest- holding a barn owl he'd done something to to make it gold and a peacock. A peacock? Despite the very serious looks he was getting, God was tempted to laugh when Gabriel set the peacock down with flair, and Lucifer walked in, swept the peacock away with a huff, and replaced it with a dove. Just behind him was Michael, holding a blackbird.

 _Every angel was in this room, staring at God..._ and Lucifer asked, "So which bird's your favorite?"

God froze.

They were definitely, no doubt, asking which _angel_ was his favorite, hidden not-so-cleverly under the guise of picking the matching bird. Well, the dove was God's favorite, but he wasn't about to say as much. Instead, he stalked back to his workroom, where he was working on a second species of seal for Antarctica.

"This," God announced, quickly fiddling with the thing as he re-emerged, "is my favorite. It lives on the ice its whole life!"

"What kind of wings are those?" Raphael asked derisively.

"Swimming wings," God answered promptly. "It can't fly."

Thus, the penguin was born.

* * *

 **Enter angel wing headcanon. My hasty descriptions of the birds did not do them justice, and I recommend giving them a google image search.**


	11. Bigger is Better

_On request..._

* * *

Things were spiraling out of control, God knew.

The angels had free reign with creation right now. In hindsight, that was a mistake, but whatever. While the little children of Heaven tried to outdo each other with increasingly massive, tall, spiky, or deadly creatures, God was gently guiding tiny creatures- he called them _mammals_ \- to greatness.

He figured that eventually he'd just guide the dinosaurs out of existence when they couldn't cohabit with the mammals any more.

"This is a Barosaurus," Gabriel chirped, holding up a dinosaur model. "It's taller than all the others. I can make the tallest one, right, Dad? Right?"

"Sure, Gabriel," God said, taking the dinosaur.

Lucifer stomped over. "That's not _fair_ , Dad, you can't let Gabriel have the tallest dinosaur! I'm the oldest!"

"You can't physically make a taller dinosaur," God said.

"I _can!"_ Lucifer said petulantly, and eventually he presented God with an Andesaurus.

"You said _I_ could make the tallest-" shrieked Gabriel, and ran away. He was soon back with a Brachiosaurus. "An' Michael helped, so _there-_ it's two against one."

Lucifer grimaced and walked away. God knew what was next, and sure enough, Lucifer walked back with Raphael and an Argentinosaurus.

Gabriel frowned, calculating. He was gone for a while, but returned with Raphael (bribery was involved) AND Michael AND an even taller dinosaur- "It's a Siesmosaurus."

"THAT'S IT!" God shouted. "NO MORE DINOSAURS! I DIDN'T WANT THEM ANYWAY!"

"Dad?" Lucifer asked, voice wavering suddenly.

But God didn't reply; he only looked down at the Earth furiously and proceeded to smite every single dino on Earth.

"Dad!" Gabriel exclaimed, aghast, but God dusted off his hands and announced-

"All right, kids, here are the guidelines of creation..."

* * *

 **Yeah, yeah, I took liberties with the timing of the dinosaurs.**

 **Here we get a little backstory on the "guidelines" I mentioned back in Chapter 2. It's kind of fun to allude to things in unrelated chapters.**


	12. What's in a Name?

_Balthazar and Naomi have a unique sort of relationship. Naomi is in charge of quality control._

* * *

"Hey... Balthazar?"

"Yeah, Naomi?"

"I... I have a question. Regarding one of your newest creations."

"What, did I break any rules? You know me, I'd never do that!"

"Ha, ha," Naomi said dryly. "No, it's about the name."

"What?"

"Well, you know that all species have males and females, right? At least, all the ones you've created?"

"I'm all too aware," Balthazar said with a smirk.

"I don't want to know what you're attempting to insinuate. Look, isn't it a little discriminatory to call these _lady_ bugs?"

* * *

 **Inspired by ladybugs.**

 **Directly translated from multiple languages, their names include lady-beetle, -cow, -fly, as well as little Mary, gold-hen, -cow... and those are the least strange.**


	13. Gabriel Does Not Equal Calm

_On request from Northern Shinigami again!_

* * *

"Gabriel, I'm sorry, but I'm really busy right now- I know it's my day to watch the fledglings but something's come up-"

"-and you're terrible at dealing with the little featherballs anyway, of course. I got ya, Michael."

"I'm not- I'm not terrible-!"

"Yeah, you are. Shoo. I've got the perfect game to keep everyone entertained."

"Especially yourself."

"You know me so well."

Michael left, knowing despite Gabriel's too-casual air, the fledglings were in good and capable hands.

"All right, so here's how the game goes. Animal mix-n-match. We're gonna pick a couple animals, mix them together, and see what we get. If they're really good-" and here, Gabriel lowered his voice conspiratorially- "I'll even show them to Dad."

"Really?" one of the tiny angels squeaked.

"Really!"

...

Michael walked back in much later than he should have. He didn't know if he should be concerned...

"Shh!" Gabriel hissed the minute Michael appeared. "It's quiet-time."

It was a crude term for meditation, but Michael let it pass, because Gabriel had somehow actually gotten all the baby angels to meditate. Gabriel himself was sitting in the midst of many things with too-spindly legs or mismatched wings and limbs.

"Gabriel..." Michael growled, slightly concerned for the piles and piles of not-animals that surrounded Gabriel.

"It was a game, Michael, calm down. Fledglings are pretty creative, you know. Look." And Gabriel held up a tiny creature, swimming in a bubble he had conjured. It peered curiously down its teeny snout at Michael, while Gabriel held out a finger for it to cling desperately to with its tail.

"What is it?" Michael asked, forgetting to be mad.

"A seahorse."

* * *

 **Aaaaaalmost forgot that angels don't sleep whoops**

 **Seahorses come in all varieties, from massive seaweed balls (sea dragons) to inch-long mini-mini-mini seahorses. (pygmy seahorses.) I love them so much.**


	14. Gabriel's Revenge

_Gabriel's Revenge. Request from Northern Shinigami. Hey, so I'm really sorry I forgot about the male pregnancy thing for seahorses! I should have included it! It's hard to include every detail in these tiny stories, so I have to pick and choose one, unfortunately. I also like that the seahorses are the slowest fish (one has a top speed of five feet an hour). Additionally, a part of our brain related to memory, the hippocampus, is often related to a seahorse tail. Alas, I went with their name for the joke. _

* * *

"Dad!"

"What, Gabriel?"

"Did you destroy my unicorn?"

"Yes."

" _Why?_ Weren't the dinosaurs enough? Have you caused me enough pain?"

"Don't be melodramatic, Gabriel."

* * *

"DAD!"

"What, Gabriel?"

"Where are the griffins?"

"I destroyed them."

 _"DAD! NO!"_

"I have my reasons, Gabriel."

* * *

 _"DAD!"_

"What, Gabriel?"

"My dodo bird!"

"What about it?"

"It's _dead!_ "

"So it is."

"Daaaaaaaaad."

"Get over it, Gabriel."

* * *

"DAD- My- my mammoth- and the sabre toothed tiger- and the giant sloth-"

" _Breathe,_ Gabriel!"

"They're all _gone!_ "

* * *

 _"GABRIEL!"_

"What, Dad?"

"Why can't I kill this creature?"

"HA, Dad- That's for every one of my creations you so heartlessly destroyed! At the end of the universe, the cockroaches will rise from the ashes! My legacy will continue despite your continued, varied, and repeated attempts to quash it!"

"Gabriel! I swear to me, I should have made you the angel of theater."

* * *

 **I felt so bad for Gabe, killing off all his creations.**

 **I noticed Gabe got the most screen time in this story. Huh.**


	15. Challenge Accepted!

_On request from Arctic Fox from Afar, whose review gave me life today. I spend a good long while on Google Image search looking up the creatures you mentioned._

 _Maaaantis Shriiiiimps!_

* * *

"Should I be concerned?"

"Nah, Naomi. It's teamwork."

"Mm. Balthazar, you _and_ Castiel? I should definitely be concerned."

"Gabriel pitched in!"

"Oh, that's supposed to make me _less_ concerned? I'm assigning Michael to watch over you. Probably Lucifer as well."

"Challenge accepted."

"Challenge?" Castiel chimed in, lining up various sizes of claws.

"Challenge. Despite TWO obnoxious, boring archangels watching over us, we are going to build the most magnificent creature known to existence!"

* * *

As of right now, Lucifer and Michael were hovering in the corner, arms crossed, peering down at Gabriel, Balthazar, and Castiel. The three angels on the floor sat circled around piles of claws and colors.

"What did you agree to bring?" Gabriel asked Balthazar.

"Colors."

"What did Castiel agree to bring?"

"I brought colors."

"You said you'd bring shells!"

"I brought colors."

"We have lots of colors."

"We do."

"Then it should be able to see the full brilliance of the color spectrum," Castiel stated with certainty. "The colors can go in its eyes."

"I'll regulate this," Michael interrupted, and swooped down to sit next to Castiel. Castiel eagerly shared the colors. Michael and Castiel took turns carefully arraying the colors in the eyes.

"There are extra colors," Balthazar announced.

"Put them on the body," Gabriel suggested. "I'm thinking these claws." He held up a pair that were more like stabbing pincers. "Pow, pow, pow-" he cried, miming a stabbing motion.

"We don't have enough crab parts," Balthazar announced. "No shells."

"Gabriel brought scales," Castiel chirped. "For fish."

"But a fish can't have _claws_..."

"Make it a shrimp," Lucifer drawled from the corner, startling everyone.

"Yeah!" Balthazar agreed, and began fitting together a shrimp. "It's got an armored little body, and its little claws on the front. Pow, pow!" he echoed Gabriel.

"Oh, give me that!" Lucifer cried exasperatedly, tearing the claws from Gabriel's fingers. "You're terrible at fighting. If it's so colorful, it needs a truly impressive fighting style, or it will be bullied out of the ocean."

"Awwwwww," Gabriel cooed. "Lucifer caaaaares!"

"Shut up," Lucifer snapped. He added some power to the claws. So did Gabriel. As an afterthought, Balthazar snuck in some of his own power.

"If it is going to be that powerful, it might as well be colorful," Castiel said, carefully pressing the eyes onto the shrimp. He took the extra color in his hands and smeared it all on the shrimp. "There is significantly more color than I thought."

"There's significantly more color than the shrimp's surface area," Michael pointed out.

"We'll make it work!" insisted Gabriel, working the color into the shrimp's body.

* * *

"Done?"

"Done."

"Good work."

"Yes. Very good work."

Castiel carefully lifted the shrimp and brought it to Naomi. "Quality control?"

Naomi just stared bug-eyed. "How did this even happen?!" she shouted, looking accusingly at Michael, who shrugged, and Lucifer, who grinned.

"Mantis shrimp!" Lucifer said.

* * *

 **These shrimps. They are brilliant. Bright rainbow, sixteen color receptors (humans have three), with stabby bits that they can use to _sonic punch_ their prey to death. Seriously, look them up. **


	16. Blue-Blooded

_Horseshoe crabs? Inspired by something Arctic Fox from Afar said._

* * *

"Hello, Naomi."

"Hello, Castiel."

"I made something useful."

"Our job isn't to make useful things, Castiel."

"It has blue blood that humans can use for its healing properties."

"Our job, Castiel, is to create."

"It folds in half, too!"

And Castiel demonstrated excitedly, accidentally poking himself in the face with the stinger protruding from an armful of horseshoe crab. He yelped, dropped the crab, and promptly threw himself to the ground to catch the crab again.

"Castiel?"

"Yes, Naomi?"

"I'll just take the crab before you damage something."

* * *

 **Throwback to when scientists had just figured out that horseshoe crabs were a Pretty Cool Thing and we used them and whatever sand bird as an example of a symbiotic relationship (half remembered bio classes woo)**


	17. Who's Up For Fun?

_Glasswing butterflies. For Arctic Fox from Afar._

* * *

"Paintball?" Gabriel suggested, wooshing down the halls with many loaded guns trailing behind him. "Yo! All angels who actually know how to have fun! Join me!"

Uriel, Balthazar, Anna, and Samandriel poked their heads out of various doorways. Ezekiel appeared, dragged by Castiel, with Naomi staring concernedly after them. (Castiel was going through a rebellious phase.) The six angels followed the archangel down the halls, snatching paintball guns as they filed in behind him.

Gabriel stopped at a room full of invisible things.

The air whispered with them. Tiny wings darted everywhere. Little legs and antennae tickled the angels.

"Butterflies!" Gabriel announced.

"They are invisible," Castiel pointed out.

"That's where you come in!" And Gabriel shot at the room, making butterflies explode into existence under the green paint. The other angels joined in, covering them with swirls of color. Twenty thousand butterflies were soaked in paintball paint, and each one was beautiful.

"Stop!" Gabriel announced a while later, and the angels stood to survey their work. Gabriel quickly mojoed their legs and bodies black.

"Good, huh?" Gabriel asked.

"Best way to create subspecies," Balthazar agreed.

"Woah, look!" Anna said, showing the group a butterfly that had somehow dodged the barrage of paint from the guns. Its wings fluttered clear as glass. "We missed this one."

"Ah, don't shoot it," Gabriel admonished when Uriel raised his gun. "That can be the special one."

"Glasswing butterfly?" Samandriel suggested.

"Glasswing butterfly!" Ezekiel agreed.

"Glasswing butterfly," Gabriel confirmed, letting it alight on his finger. A cloak of butterflies followed him as he went to give all twenty thousand to Naomi.

* * *

 **So many ideas, so little time... and only one story to write them in.**


	18. Bees, the Sequel

_On request from you-could-in-new-hampshire, whose pile of reviews came to me halfway through a very long and disappointing shopping trip. It was like a little candle in the darkness, thank you very much._

* * *

"Bees again?" Lucifer asked, standing on the ceiling so that his head hung next to Castiel's.

"There are a lot of bees," Castiel explained simply.

"That one looks like literally all the other ones."

"It's different," Castiel protested, but didn't explain further.

"You done?"

"Almost."

"What do you need to do?"

"I need to attach the legs."

Lucifer pointed at the bee. Suddenly, it had legs.

"No, Lucifer-" Castiel started, forgetting himself for a moment, involved as he was in creating. "I mean, thank you, Lucifer. Let me put the finishing touches."

"Hm."

Castiel repaired the legs.

"Done?"

"Yes." Castiel started to walk out the door.

"I'll take it to Naomi!" Lucifer announced suddenly, snatching the bee as he hopped down from the ceiling. He fluttered off, humming over the insect in his hand.

Castiel would rather take the bee to Naomi himself, but Lucifer was gone, and Lucifer didn't like little angels tagging along. Castiel was about to leave when Gabriel burst into the room, glitter showering the floor underneath him. Gabriel shook his hair and it disappeared.

"Man, everyone's in a bad mood today!" Gabriel complained.

"Hello, Gabriel," Castiel greeted.

"Sup, Castiel. Dad didn't appreciate my- well, it doesn't matter, anyway, but Lucifer is bored and you _know_ what happens when Lucifer is bored-"

Castiel _did_ know what tended to happen when Lucifer was bored, and it usually involved destruction. He _had_ seemed a little off, and it was kind of strange that he offered to take-

"My BEE!" Castiel yelled suddenly.

"Your bee?" Gabriel asked.

"HE TOOK MY BEE TO NAOMI!"

"HE TOOK YOUR BEE?" And Gabriel seized his little brother's arm and whisked them both to Naomi's office, where a shockwave of Grace announced Lucifer's recent departure.

"Gabriel? Castiel?"

"Hello, Naomi," Castiel said, which was a little odd, because archangels usually spoke first. "Did Lucifer give you a bee?"

"A bee? Do you mean the bee fly?" Naomi asked, gesturing to a real-time map of creatures. "There it is!"

"Bee... fly?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, Castiel, a fly that looks exactly like a bee. You know what, I think it eats bee larva, too. It's a useful pollinator, though."

"My bee... eats bees?" Castiel asked again, voice wavering.

Naomi was looking a little annoyed, so Gabriel whisked them away again. "Did he change your bee?"

"Yes, Gabriel!"

"Then you know what? I'm gonna create some bugs to eat that fly, okay?"

"What kind of bugs?" Castiel asked.

" _Assassin bugs_ _!_ One of them is gonna be called an _ambush bug!_ "

"...Gabriel!"

* * *

 **Two bugs for the price of one and a peek into the dynamics of the angel relationships.**

 **In answer to Northern Shinigami's question, to clear up some confusion, and to expand on the Chronicles universe:**

 **1) Angels (or God Himself) create creatures. Angels usually create a single, "working" prototype of the creature.**

 **2) These creatures are submitted to Naomi. They used to be submitted to God until God decided he would rather delegate.**

 **3) The submitted creatures are given to God, who has the job of guiding evolution until it matches the creatures his children made, and then there are species in the environment.**

 **4) At that point, it's all up to nature. If the angels did a bad job, whatever they make will probably die quickly.**

 **5) God has veto power. He can smite species out of existence if they're out of control. This messes other things up, though, so if he needs one gone, he'll usually try to _guide_ it out again. **


	19. Gabriel Equals Stress (for Naomi)

_On request._

* * *

"Where's Gabriel?"

"Gabriel's in trouble."

Gabriel was _missing._ He'd promised to spend time with so many angels today!

"Where is Gabriel?"

"With _Naomi._ "

"Why?"

"He's in _trouble!_ "

There were many angels standing around a little forlornly.

"Gabriel's _in trouble!_ "

Some angels couldn't help but wonder what Gabriel had done to be in trouble like this.

Perhaps… perhaps the events of the other day…

Every angel took a turn sorting DNA. It was a chore, and a tedious one. Of course, Gabriel's turn had come up recently…

"What did he do?"

"What do you think he did? He _switched some DNA._ "

 _"No."_

 _"Yes!"_

 _"Really?!"_

That was taboo, of course.

"What did he make? What DNA did he switch?"

"He got some wolf…"

"Okay…"

"And some _human._ "

If switching DNA was bad, messing with the humans was worse.

"What did he make?"

"Look there- it's a werewolf."

* * *

 **I'm really mad at bees because one stung my face... so I thought of writing away my frustration... so of course I looked at Angel Chronicles... but I'd already done bees...**

 **Here have a chapter about werewolves.**

 **-1AMW**


	20. Check Your Units

_Hi! I'm alive! here have story_

* * *

"Listen… Bartholomew… I don't understand why you insist on using blueprints rather than prototypes. Enochian wasn't meant for writing out the dimensions of a lizard. I want physical copies, not these nonsense drawings."

"We are progressive angels, Naomi. We must move ever forward to keep with the changing world. Blueprints are the new way."

"Right. Which is why we have forty foot, bus-sized lizards flying around."

"Forty foot- forty foot? How did you get forty feet!?"

"You said twelve meters. That's forty feet."

"I said twelve centimeters!"

"CONGRATULATIONS!" Gabriel shouted, entering the conversation via crashing through the roof on the back of an oversized wingéd reptile. "YOU MADE DRAGONS!"

* * *

 **Scaling problems. Inspired by robots, funnily enough. Hint hint: ALWAYS check your units.**

 **For those who don't remember, I'll save you the trouble of Googling: Bartholomew led a campaign through televangelist Buddy Boyle to get all the angels into willing vessels. Castiel was on a peace campaign and didn't want to kill him, but when Bartholomew refused to stand down, Castiel basically rolled his eyes and stabbed him without breaking a sweat.**


	21. But It Works

_Inspired by India_

* * *

"What are we going to put HERE?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's hot. It's dry. There's no water. It's sandy. No species can live here."

"Well, the species will simply have to carry water with them."

"And how do you propose we do that? Put a bowl on its head?"

"Of course not. We would have a storage area- the back, maybe?"

"That sounds stupid. Okay, let's say it can drink. What about food?"

"Well, you know what we did for the cows. They eat, and later, they move the food from their first stomach back to their mouth to chew. Then it goes to their next stomach."

"That's gross."

"It works…"

"Fine. I'm still skeptical about the water. The food is tentative. How's it going to reach the leaves, anyway?"

"A super long flexible neck, of course."

 _"Oh. Of course."_

"Here- I started a prototype."

"Look at it! It's falling all over the sand dunes!"

"Okay, so we put shock absorbers in its feet."

"That is the most awkward looking animal I've ever seen. Watch it sit down, look! It rocks forward, backward, falls on its knees, on its other knees, stretches its legs out… there, it's done."

"But it works, right? And we did want an animal for the desert."

"I suppose. What's this called?"

"Camel."

* * *

 **Camel camel camel camel**


	22. Sloth of Time

_Sloths! On request._

* * *

"ALL RIGHT, WHO'S BEEN MESSING WITH TIME AGAIN?!"

"Hey, chill, Naomi, you've just found Hael's new animals. Look, time's fine, see? Clock! Tadaaa!"

"Why in Dad's name did Hael make these, Balthazar?"

"I dunno. They're pretty boring. Leave it to Hael to make an animal that moves so slooooowww that moss grows on its fur!"

Balthazar zipped away to go play with the hummingbirds. Naomi shook her head in disbelief.

* * *

 **It's not moss. It's algae. Also insects. Fun fact.**


	23. Particular Creatures

_This is for the owners of these beautiful creatures._

* * *

"Look at this beauty." Lucifer stroked the creature, watching it hum. The soft, white ball of fur was curled in his arms, hiding its nose beneath its fluffy tail.

"What's that?"

"A cat. I made it like me."

Castiel reached out to the cat. It promptly sprung up and hissed, displaying a startling number of sharp ends. Claws and teeth, and even the icy gaze.

"I think you made it a bit too much like you."

Lucifer considered the cat, which was slinking around his ankles, tail curled.

"I think it's perfect."

* * *

 **Still mad that I'm sick. Boredom = writing.**


	24. Like Cats and Dogs

_A counter to the cat, I guess?_

* * *

"WHAT THE-"

Michael was down! Buried beneath a mountain of golden fur! His head popped up, drenched in… in…

"Ewwwww." Slobber.

Castiel grinned and petted the four-legged beast that had bowled Michael over. The thing grinned back, slobbering all over Castiel.

"Like him?" Gabriel asked, strolling into view. The minute the thing saw him, it launched itself at him, and Gabriel launched himself with equal enthusiasm. The pair was lost in a tangle of overlarge wings and fur.

"What, in Dad's name, is that?" Lucifer asked, his snowball of a cat springing lightly from his grasp.

"A dog," Gabriel said. "A golden retriever, to be exact."

"How… like you…" Lucifer muttered. Snowball hissed at the dog. In return, the dog gave Snowball a slobbery kiss.

Snowball fled back to Lucifer, and Lucifer vanished in turn.

"Thanks!" Gabriel called after Lucifer.

* * *

 **I love cats**

 _ **Interesting choice of story, then**_ **but I love cats**

 ***shrugs unapologetically***


End file.
